Happy Friday! I know I'm very happy to see the weekend, how about you?
I know I've struggled with my weight my entire life. I've always been bigger than all my friends but I was also always taller. In 5th grade I was already 5'8". I was basically a gentle giant until the rest of my friends caught up. Some never did haha. Looking back I didn't think that my weight really ever crossed my mind when I was younger.
But I was wrong.
I found an old journal I used to write in when I was younger and read a little bit of it. I found a passage from the month before my mom and step-dad got married. My goal was to get down to 175 pounds from the 190's before their wedding.
That was 9 years ago, I was twelve years old.
I've always been a person that could say I really don't know what it's like to be thin because I never have been. Until reading that, I never realized how true it was.
I have never been thin.
I don’t know what it's like.
I don’t know what it feels like.
But I will.
Reading that passage lit a fire inside of me. I've read a lot of blogs lately about having fear. Fear of reaching a goal,. I too have that fear. I have that fear because I've never been thin. It's a fear of the unknown but it's also a fear of failing. Inside I ask myself, if I have never been able to control my weight what makes me think I can do it now? What makes me think I can succeed? What makes me think this time will be different?
I don't think I can do it now.
I don't think I will succeed this time.
I don’t think this time will be different.
I KNOW it.
Because I have the tools to succeed. I have the knowledge to succeed. I have the drive to succeed. And as I'm writing this, I just happened to look at the calendar and see the date. Yes, it's Friday the 13th. The 13th of November. Exactly 3 months since I started on this journey. Do you know how long I lasted last time I tried this? 2 months. 2 months and 20 pounds.
Now, it has been 3 months, 30 pounds and I'm still loving every second of it.
This time, change will happen. It has been my lifelong goal, literally, to lose weight and be healthy. It's about time I take my life back.