Monday, September 28, 2009

Proud

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend! Mine was very quiet and relaxing.
 
Friday, my mom and I went shopping. When we got home we ordered subs from Milio's. They have the most amazing subs!! I always get the "Californian" which has turkey, cheese, sprouts, lettuce, guacamole and tomatoes. It is soooo good but it's about 750 calories for the entire 8inch sub. Don't worry I didn't eat the whole sub in one sitting! I cut it into 3 equal parts and had one for dinner, one for lunch Saturday and one for dinner Saturday. I also paired this with super yummy strawberries and cucumbers. 

 
 
Saturday was pretty lazy. Got up around noon to an empty house and after eating another third of my sandwich from the previous night (with strawberries and cucumbers of course) I decided to take our dog Cassius on a walk. We walked a little over a mile in 25 minutes. It wasn't a fast walk I just had the urge to get outside and enjoy the fall weather.  I lazed around for the rest of the day until about 6 and then I headed to the gym and after that rented the movie "I love you man" with my cousin. This is an amazing movie that you should definitely see if you haven't!! We ate some popcorn, drank some water and just had a fun time.
 
Sunday was more of the same. Did some laundry, cleaned the bathrooms and watched football. Did everyone see that amazing finish to the Vikings game? :-) I then went grocery shopping and back home for some family time before the gym. About 7:30 we heard a super loud banging on the outside of our house so we looked outside and hail was falling! Yea, that's right hail and it isn't even October yet! Ugh I'm not looking forward to winter!!
 
Last night at the gym I was sitting on the oblique machine taking a quick breather between sets when I looked to my right and saw a man that had just gotten done using the shoulder press machine and was writing on his paper his sets/reps. This man had to weigh close to 400 pounds. I looked to my left and saw a woman walking on the treadmill who probably weighs as much as I do and on the treadmill behind her was an athletic looking man running. On an ab machine in front of me there was an elderly man doing crunches. A smile immediately came to my face because I felt proud. I was proud of the heavy-set man because at 9 o'clock on a Sunday night he was at the gym instead of at home sitting on the couch. I was proud of the other two for the same reason. The elderly man just blew me away with the amount of crunches he was doing. He could easily use his age as an excuse to sit on his butt; however, he was slamming out those crunches like nobody's business. The gym inspires me because every time I go there I know I am surrounded by people who made the same decision as me get up off the couch, put down the chips and be healthy. Whether they've never been overweight or they've been overweight their whole life they all made the decision to put their health first. I'm proud to say that I am now part of this "group".

Friday, September 25, 2009

Are You Ready For Some Football?


Happy Happy Friday! This Friday is just turning out to be wonderful! More on that in a minute :-)

Yesterday was very nice and relaxing after work. Did a little blogging, grocery shopping, caught up on other people's blogs since I can read them at work but when I try to leave a comment my work computer freaks out (not sure why?) and watched some of my Friends DVD's. I was craving something different for dinner so I whipped up 2 little zucchini pancakes and some chicken salad. If I remember correctly the zucchini pancakes were like 70 calories apiece with about 2.5g of fat apiece? There were small about twice the size of a 50 cent piece but boy were they yummy! I whipped up some chicken salad for me and my mom with 1 can chunk chicken (5 servings in 1 can), 5 tbsp of low fat mayo, chopped up grapes and a sprinkle of celery salt since we didn’t have any fresh celery. It was yummy! I had one serving and I think my mom had one as well. Didn't make it to the gym last night (wasn't planning on it anyways I needed a little break) but I did take a 20 minute walk with my mom and our 2 dogs. My mom walks our Boxer Cassius but I have to carry our Chihuahua Emmy because she's blind. Haha I got in a good arm workout as well since she's about 8-9 pounds.

The grocery shopping trip was quick but very successful! I got some new marinade for my chicken, a 6 pack of Pepsi Max and a 12 pack of mini sour cream and onion Pringles. I usually use Mrs. Dash salt free Roasted Garlic and Herb marinade (which is absolutely divine!!) but I decided to try out the Mrs. Dash salt free sweet teriyaki marinade. I'm hoping it's delicious, I'm sure it will be!!

Every time I go visit my boyfriend (about once a week) I stop at the local gas station and pick up a Pepsi max and a mini container of Pringles just to keep me alert on the hour long drive home. I drink about half the Pepsi and eat about half the Pringles each time and this is the only time I allow myself to have either of the 2. It costs me about $3 every week to get these which isn't bad at all but I got the 12pack of Pringles for $4 and the 6pack of Pepsi Max for $3 at the grocery store. That's only $7 for 4 months worth of Pringles and 1 1/2 months worth of Pepsi. I was very excited about that :-). It's the little things I swear.

So on the subject of the tattoo, I've decided to wait to get it. I will probably get it for my birthday next year but I'm slightly undecided if that's what I want and I'm not going to put something permanent on my body until I'm for sure that it's what I want to do. I also think that waiting until I have lost a more significant amount of weight will make it more meaningful. I plan to be at or near my goal weight at this time next year so maybe it will be my gift to myself for reaching that? Another reason I decided to wait is because me and my brother took the plunge and made a major amazing purchase last night! We bought Viking tickets on the 35-40yd line only 4 rows up! It's for the Seahawks game on November 22nd. I'm soooo soooo excited!! I've been to 2 Viking games before both of which were in the upper deck seats that cost about $80 apiece. To be honest with you there's really not a bad seat in the Metrodome but to be so close is going to be amazing! The tickets were $198 apiece (it came out to about $230 apiece with tax) but it will be WELL worth it. That'll eat up most, if not all of the money I will be getting for my birthday so even if I was ready to get the tattoo it's not in the cards money wise at this point.

I'll leave you with a picture of my yummy lunch. Not sure why I took this but I guess I was in a picture mood today.




Have a wonderful weekend!!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

VIII XIII MMIX

Hey guys long time no post! Sorry about that, I've been super busy and sick as well.

Tuesday was my weigh in day. I ended up working out on Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday so I was pretty confident about stepping on the scale. Well, apparently I had every reason to be confident because the scale read 253.6! Another 3.3 pound loss! Woo Hoo! Looks like I'm back on track compared to the week before and crazy enough only 3.6 pounds away from having lost 20 pounds so far! Ahh I can't believe it but I am sooo ecstatic.

Food has been good. I've been good about eating correct portions if I'm going to have something that isn't the healthiest. I'm doing my best to really try to incorporate real life into this and know that I'm not going to be able to eat chicken and veggies all day everyday for the rest of my life. I'm always going to be put into situations where I will have to make less "favorable" decisions that what I'm used to but I know that I'll be able to make sensable choices when I come to those situations.

Now for an opinion question that I'm hoping you lovelies can help me with. So this year for my birthday my mom is buying me a tattoo. I have 2 other tattoos, a heart on my ankle that I got right after I turned 18 and the words "Rispetto, Amore, Desiderio" on my wrist (It means Respect, Love, Dream in Italian). I've been mulling over ideas for awhile about what to get this year and I'm not sure I'm decided yet. Today I thought of an idea that I really like but I need your opinion on it. What I was thinking of getting was the Roman Numerals of 08.13.2009 on the inside of my fingers. It'll look something like this:


This is the date that I officially started working out regularly and eating healthy on a daily basis. I know that I WILL continue on this journey and I feel like this is one of the most important things I have done for myself and my future health. I know that this tattoo will not allow me to ever give up or ever stop because this will be a permanent constant reminder of what I started, how far I have left to go and how important it is to continue to live like this. The thing I worry about is having to explain to people that I got the date I started my "diet" on my hand. I feel kind of embarrassed even talking about it and I'm not sure if I'll feel embarrassed having to constantly explain it. I feel like a lot of people will throw doubt at it saying "What if you don't stick to your diet this time, then what?" That would be a valid point except for the fact that this time I will not allow myself to fail. This is my lifestyle now and I will NEVER go back to how I used to be. EVER. I think I just have to remind myself that this tattoo is for ME and no one else, just like my decisions to finally get healthy. What do you guys think? I know some of you may not like tattoos in general but if you could just tell me what you think about the idea? Please be honest even if you think it's not something I want to hear.

Thank you everyone for your continued support of me on my journey!

Monday, September 21, 2009

...No Pain No Gain...


It seems as though another week is upon us. Hope you all had a wonderful weekend! My weekend was fun but very busy.



Friday after work me and my cousin headed on a short road trip to Milwaukee to pick up her god kids that she was taking for the weekend. Oh my lord are these the cutest kids ever! Here's a picture of each of them. Aren't they adorable?!






We got home at about 9 and I was in no mood to head to the gym so I didn’t. :-/ oopsy poopsy.


Saturday my mom, my brother and I went out for lunch and then shopping to spend some hard earned money! At lunch I had a dish called the Low Cal Pal. It's a grilled beef patty (basically a hamburger with no bun or anything like that) a small cup of cottage cheese, cantaloupe, honeydew melon, watermelon, cucumbers and tomatoes. It was really good! I'm not a big melon fan so I didn’t touch the cantaloupe or honeydew melon but I love watermelon, cucumbers and tomatoes so I ate all of that. I ate about 1/3 of the patty and almost all of the cottage cheese and then I was STUFFED. It was a good feeling to know that I can no longer clean my plate at the restaurant and an even better feeling that I no longer WANT to clean my plate. After lunch we went to the mall. My mom had a gift card for Bath & Body Works so we headed over there and got 3 new body sprays. The fragrances we got were "Butterfly Flower", "Moonlit Path" and "Sea Breeze". (Not sure if the last name is correct but it's something like that) They have amazing scents there right now so if you have one near you definitely stop in and see what you can find! I also picked up my dress and some fun accessories. Here are some pictures:





The dress



Fun matching bangles



Some pink hoop earrings



And amazing matching sunglasses!! How fun :-)



After the mall I went to the park with my cousin and the kids and then we did a little shopping to pick out a dress for her. I DID make it to the gym Saturday night. Woo Hoo! I've added a 5 minute warm up on the treadmill walking at a speed of 2.5 with an incline of 10. It's a nice warm up that really gets my heart going and I think the incline will be good to work my legs and butt. I also have added an extra 10 minutes to the end of my cardio because I feel I am physically able to do that now.


Sunday was football day of course. (Yay Vikings won!! #1 in the NFC North Division now!!) At around 3:30 my cousin and I headed back to Milwaukee to bring the kids home. They were exhausted so they slept the whole way which was nice for us. When I got home I did my grocery shopping for the week, ate a little Sheppard's pie for dinner and headed to the gym. Focus was abs with light biceps/back and inner/outer thighs. I added the 5 minute warm up but not the extra 10 minutes to the cardio because my foot started cramping up pretty bad, not sure why.


I plan to go to the gym tonight and tomorrow and also weigh in tomorrow. I'm excited!! Oh! I almost forgot to tell you one of my embarrassing weekend moment. Saturday night at the gym I was so much in the zone that I decided I was just going to walk right into this long pole that sticks out from the oblique machine and here's what happened..


Haha it hurt like hell but you know what they say, no pain no gain.



Have a wonderful night :-)

Friday, September 18, 2009

Fabulous Friday

Happy Friday! It's about time!! Ugh is anyone else having SEVERE allergy problems like I am? I don't know if its just the Midwest or what but wow are allergies crazy this year! I'm so stuffed up everyone keeps asking if I'm okay because I sound horrible, haha.
 

Last night my friend and I went shopping and out to eat. I bought a cute pair of glasses because I don't own any and my eyes really need a break from wearing contacts all the time. They were only $45 after my insurance chipped in and they'll be ready in about 2 weeks. I'm kind of excited but I'm not sure why because I'll still wear contacts about 90% of the time. It's always fun to get something new though!
 

We went to Chili's for dinner. I did pretty well. I got the Guiltless Grilled Buffalo Chicken Sandwich with steamed broccoli and water to drink. We also had chips and salsa as an appetizer. I was sooo tempted to get the honey glazed chicken crispers (my favorite!!) but I was proud that I stayed away. It was also nice and cheap only $10 and that included the tip!
 

After dinner we went to the mall and I found the dress I'm going to wear for my bday party. I'm not sure if I mentioned this before but the dress I originally wanted from Forever 21's plus size line Faith 21 is not being carried in my size at the current moment. I also read some reviews online that the line runs very small and I was already worried that the 2x wasn't going to fit me. I made the decision (it was hard because the dress is sooo cute!) to find another dress. I found a very cute navy blue one at Macy's but it was $80, I would have to order it offline and I was worried that I wouldn't have time to exchange it if it didn't fit. So me and my friend headed over to D.E.B Shop and luckily all of their homecoming dresses are out right now so it was very easy to pick a few quick and try them on. The one I picked out is a knee length spaghetti strap. The bodice is leopard print with a hot pink sash underneath that ties in the back and the waist down is black with ruffles. It's very cute and only $30! I'm going to try to get hot pink heels we'll see if I can actually find any haha! I really liked how I looked in the dress. I realized after we were done shopping, that when I was trying on the dress I wasn't nit-picking at everything I didn't like about how it fit me because I was very happy about how it fit me. Usually I just settle on something because I can't find anything that would look much better but I was very happy with this dress and it's nice to have some confidence in my body for once. I could definitely see some changes in my body, specifically my arms and stomach. It felt very very good. Needless to say, I'm a very happy girl today :-)
 

My goal is to get to the gym tonight, Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday before my next weigh in. I've decided to switch my weigh in day to Tuesday and up my goal to 20 pounds by my birthday. That means I have 7.9 more to go! I put a couple lists on the right hand side of my blog, one for my weigh in's and one for my goals. I could only remember a couple of my weigh in's without looking at my sheet so once I find that I'll complete the weigh in section up until last week.
 

Alright that's enough for now, have a wonderful weekend! I'm going hiking tomorrow with the fam. I'm excited!!
 

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Oops, I Cheated...

It's almost Friday!! Woo Hoo! I'm soooo ready for the weekend, how bout you?!
 

So Tuesday I cheated. Kinda. My weeky weigh in's are Thursdays but if you remember I had to bump it up to Tuesday last week because of my doctors appt. Well, Tuesday at the gym I decided to face my fear of  what damage I may have done the previous week and stepped on the scale. The scale read 256.9. Another 1.9 pounds gone! Woo Hoo! Very very very excited about that! It definitely doesn’t compare much with the 3+ pound weeks I've been having but losing nearly 2 pounds after a week from hell is amazing. My weigh in days might now be switched to Tuesdays instead of Thursdays we'll see what I feel like doing next week. I am now 1.9 pounds away from losing 15 pounds so far. Wow, I really can't believe it. When I started on August 13th, my goal was to lose 10 pounds by my birthday dinner October 9th and my birthday on October 17th. I didn't set the bar too high because I really wasn’t sure what to expect from my body. I didn't know if the eating would be easier or harder than I thought it would be, I didn’t know how much I would actually make it to the gym and I wasn’t sure how quickly my body would start to change. About 2 weeks ago I decided that I could definitely bump my goal up to 15 pounds by my birthday. Now, I'm not sure what to do. My birthday dinner/party is 3 weeks from Friday and my actual birthday is 4 weeks from Saturday. Do I bump up my goal again to 20 pounds? That's 7 pounds in 3 weeks. Can I do it? If I get back on track with the 3 pound a week weigh in's I could do it with a few pounds to spare. If my weigh in's continue to be around 1.9 pounds then I will be a couple pounds short. I think maybe it would be good to set a bar that I'm not sure I'll make. I think it will help to motivate me to work my butt off. What do you guys think? I think that's probably what I'll do.
 

I also decided that every 20 pounds I lose I will take a new progress picture. That means that one may be coming soon! And as much as I don't want to, when I take a new progress picture I will post that one with my starting picture to compare. These will be on my Pictures Blog that is currently empty. I'm not thrilled about seeing my start picture up for everyone to see but I think it's something that needs to be done so I can truly see all my progress.
 

Ugh I'm quite hungry right now, not sure why. Can't wait for lunch in 20 minutes!!
 

:-)

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Scaredy-Pants

Hello! Nothing much new here since yesterday's post. Food has been good. Got 6 inches cut off my hair last night! It was scary but it was well needed and I love it! Today's post is mostly to get some emotions off my chest that are building up and what better place to do it but here?!
 

I'm scared. Yep, it's as simple as that. I'm scared. My exercise routine has been a little rocky lately and it's starting to scare me. I weighed in last Tuesday at 258.8lbs. I did not work out on Wednesday. I did not work out on Thursday (besides my belly dancing class). I did not work out on Friday. Saturday I was unable to make it to the gym so I did the "Workout" DVD at home. I did work out Sunday. I did not work out last night. In the past week I have worked out TWICE and only one of those times was actually at the gym. My next scheduled weigh in is on Thursday and I'm scared that I will not have lost any weight. I'm scared that I will actually gain weight. The scariest part is that if I do not lose any weight this week it will be MY FAULT, no one else's. I have 3 days to make up for the past week before my weigh in but at this point it may not be enough. I know that this is not my final weigh in or anything and that I have a LONG road ahead of me but I've had so much success thus far. I'm scared to think of what it would feel like standing on the scale only 5 weeks into my journey and seeing that I gained weight. I don't feel like I've lost enough to be "okay" with a gain, there's not enough "cushion" there. Missy (The Ups and Downs of Losing Weight) mentioned in her post today about how exercise is now one of the things that is non-negotiable in her life. It's something she needs to do and it's no longer an option. That's how it has been for me the past 5 weeks but for some reason it's starting to slowly worm it's way back into my "optional" category. I know there will be many more bumps in my journey and if anything this is just a reminder that I need to work hard to achieve the results I want. My success will only be a reflection of my work. Whether or not I have a gain on the scale on Thursday I need to keep on trucking and not let this slow me down.

Monday, September 14, 2009

What Time Is It? Game Time!

Happy Monday! (haha yea right!!) It's been awhile AGAIN since I last posted. I need to get better at that but sometimes its difficult to find the time. I'll try to start where I left off.

Thursday's doctor appt went well. My doctor was really impressed with the amount of weight I lost in such a short time. It made me feel really good because that is part of the reason I really started to kick it into gear 5 weeks ago. My blood pressure is still slightly elevated but I'm sure with a little more weight gone it'll be back to normal soon. Bellydancing was a blast again and I think I'm catching on pretty quickly.

Friday I went shopping and out to eat with my best friend Erin. I need to learn to make better decisions when we go out to eat. Lately I've been pretty good but Friday I was taken over by the temptation monster. We had mozzarella sticks as an appetizer, 9 for only the 2 of us!! I only ate 2 (I know I know I shouldn’t have even touched them) and then moved on to the main dish: chicken tenders and french fries. I swear chicken tenders are my kryptonite. I did pretty well but I could have done A LOT better. I ate 3 of the 5 chicken tenders, about half of my fries (with the BEST honey mustard ever made) and water to drink. I would have done relatively well if I stopped there but of course I didn’t! I then had a chocolate mousse "shooter" for dessert with cooking crumbles and whipped cream. AMAZING! But worth it? Definitely NOT and I will be kicking my own ass up and down the gym to pay for it. I almost never order dessert so I'm not sure what came over me.

Saturday I layed pretty low, I scratched my eye pretty badly and was dealing with the pain of that most of the day. I did go grocery shopping to stock up on food for the week though. I wanted to go to the gym but since I couldn’t wear a contact in my right eye (and I don't own glasses at the moment) I was not comfortable driving to the other side of town with only one good eye haha. Instead I popped in my "Workout" DVD by Jackie Warner. (The one they made on the tv show Workout. Great show!) Her and her trainers proceded to kick my ass for the next hour. I'm glad it was tough because it made me feel better for not making it to the gym and I know I still got in a great workout.

Sunday was the best day of all! Why you ask? It wasn’t because I got to clean the bathrooms or do my laundry or prepare my food for the next week (even though these were all VERY exciting...not). It was because it is OFFICIALLY FOOTBALL SEASON!! I forgot how much I miss football in the offseason. Not only do I miss watching the games (GO VIKINGS!! Sorry Packer Fans!) but I also miss the cool breeze and smell in the air that means Fall is fast approaching. I love Fall. It is my 2nd favorite season. (next to Football of course!) Here in Wisconsin, Fall is absolutely breathtaking. I'll make sure to take lots of pictures this year for you guys to see. I love sweatshirt weather and cuddling next to a fire or on the couch with a blanket watching a movie. I love hearing the breeze and seeing the leaves scatter across the street. What I don’t like is knowing that the 6 month Winter we have here in the Midwest is close behind the arrival of Fall but I try not to think about it too much. I made it to the gym last night with abs as my focus and light inner/outer thighs and biceps/back.

I plan on going to the gym tonight after I get my haircut. I might be getting 6 inches cut off my hair! I'm excited but VERY nervous :-) I never get my hair cut and it is currently almost down to my butt. I think I could easily stand to lose 6 or more inches (now if I could just cut that off my waist haha)

Hope you all have a wonderful night. Biggest Loser starts tomorrow!! Ahh so excited! AND the Big Brother Finale is tomorrow! Wow so much to watch in one night!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Stop Drinking Haterade...

Happy Hump Day everyone! I love four day weeks :-)

This is another post that is going to need a disclaimer: Warning, the post you are about to read has a lot of "venting" in it. If you do not wish to read someone complain about things that probably don't even really matter, please turn away now or forever hold your peace.

Before I get into what the disclaimer was about I'll update you on yesterday. Food was good. Same old chicken, same old veggies, same old everything. Same old everything I LOVE :-) I think finding food that I can stand eating almost everyday has really helped make the eating part of the journey a lot easier than I thought it would be. I love the fruits and veggies I eat and I don't try to force myself to eat ones I know I don't like. I love greek yogurt and laughing cow cheese and V8. It's all part of who I am now. I also switch up the marinade I'm using everytime I grill new chicken just to keep things interesting. It's fun and I'm enjoying it.

Exercise was good yesterday. Did the 4 mile walk with my step-mom and then hit up the gym. Yesterday's focus was arms with light hamstrings and upper abs/obliques. I finished it off with 40 minutes on the stationary bike. I need to remember to add in a 10 minute warmup on the treadmill before I weight train. I have a doctor's appt. right after work tomorrow and tonight I am going to see my boyfriend so I won't have a chance to work out before I see my doc. I would love to impress my doctor with how well I've done since I last saw her 6 weeks ago and I really wanted to know what my weight was looking like before I see her. Since tomorrow is my official weigh in day I decided to weigh myself last night just to see if my weekend choices affected me as much as I thought they did. Well, happily as of last night I was down another 2.2 pounds! All I'm hoping for now is to not gain anything before I see her tomorrow. I would love to lose another pound or so but quite frankly I'm not expecting that because I won't have the chance to work out tonight. The 2.2 pounds has me at 11.2 pounds lost total so far, so I am very very happy with that!

So now for the fun stuff. My venting. I'll try to keep it short I just need to get if off of my chest. So I got this new temporary part time job on the weekends for a little extra money. The job only lasts 4-8wks but right now I'll take whatever I can get. Basically I'll be working at a cheese factory on the candy and giftwrapping production lines. I think it'll be fun but of course my "best friend" had to bring my mood down. I told her the pay is $8/hr and $12/hr for any overtime. She proceeded to argue with me about the fact that I won't get any overtime because I'm only working 16 hours. I nicely told her that my boss said anything out of my normal schedule of 16 hours would be considered overtime. After she argued some more I decided that this wasn't worth the fight and just let it go. The hours of the job are Saturday and Sunday 6am-2pm. After I told her this she told me that I was always going to be tired and that it was going to suck. I told her that since I get off so early I could easily take a nap when I get home and I reminded her that at one point I worked a full time job during the day, had a 7 day a week paper route from 3am-7am and went to school full time so I didn’t think this would be a problem. She then went on to argue that I wasn’t going to have a life anymore. After I told her I thought it would be a fun job, she told me its sounds to her like it will be monotonous and boring. It seems like everytime I said something positive she countered with a negative. I don’t know, maybe I took it for more than it was worth but it just bothered me. I don’t understand why she can't just be happy for me or at least pretend to be.

Within the past month or so I've become a lot more independent of her and everyone else. I've started doing things for me and doing things that I love. I took the bellydancing class by myself because no one would do it with me and I wasn’t going to wait around when its something I've been wanting to do forever. That’s definitely not something I would have done a couple months ago. I don’t know what gave me the courage to branch out and do things on my own but I'm glad I have. I think that sometimes when you're having success and someone else isn't they get hostile towards you. Whether it's because they are mad at you or at themselves, I'm not sure. There's other times that people are happy for you and support you. I just want to say thank you to everyone who has been so kind to me here and left me the support I needed. Don’t get me wrong, I have many people in my day to day life that have been more than supportive but it seems like lately the people I want to care the most are the ones that care the least.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Weekend Recap

Hello all happy Tuesday!! I just realized it's been a while since my last post, oops!

Before I get into the weekend I will update on Thursday and Friday. I did my first bellydancing class on Thursday and it was a blast! We learned a few moves and kept if very basic but it was still a lot of fun. I will definitely be taking the level 1, 2, 3 and 4 classes after I finish the beginners class. I will just have to start saving up some money because after the beginners class almost every level is split into A and B (Ex: 1a, 1b, 2a, 2b, 3, 4) and the 6 week class is $180. Ouch! However, I feel that it is worth it because it's something I've fallen in love with.
Friday was good, eats were the same. Spent my night with the boyfriend so I didn't make it to the gym.

Labor day weekend was very very nice! I got to rest a lot and catch up on "me" time. Saturday I started my day by signing up for a 1yr membership at my gym! Great way to start the day I think :-) I then went shopping all day with 2 of my girls. We ate out for lunch and dinner! Yikes! I think I kept my food intake reasonable though, um well maybe not but I tried? For lunch we went to Noodles and I got a small pesto cavatappi with water to drink. It was 510 calories, 21g of fat and 18g of protein. Yikes on the calories and fat!! I usually get the pad thai because it is a LOT healthier but I was craving the cavatappi so I got it. I'm definitely digging the "if I want it I'm going to have it" (within a reasonable amount) way of living. For dinner we went to Olive Garden. I had the Ravioli di Portobello with water to drink. It was 670 calories, 30g of fat and 1400mg of sodium. Yikes again! I only ate half of it so I guess it was more around 335 calories, 15g of fat and 700mg of sodium. That makes me feel a little better but not much. Hopefully it won't affect my weigh in too much but I feel if I work hard enough this week at the gym I won't have a problem (we'll see). I didn't make it to the gym Saturday, although I know I definitely should have after meals like that!

Sunday I got a text bright and early from my friend saying that she had her baby!! Yay! After I had the other half of my ravioli for breakfast, I headed up to the hospital with another friend and we visited the proud parents and new baby for a couple hours. I forgot how little newborns are! I went home and did some chores around the house and then went grocery shopping with my cousin. I got some veggies, grapes, yogurt, V8 and cottage doubles (I forgot how much I love cottage doubles!). Then I hit up the gym with focus being legs with light triceps/shoulders and lower abs/obliques. I also did 40 minutes on the stationary bike.

Yesterday was the best day of all! I sat on my butt most of the day and didn't even change out of my pj's. Call me lazy but I call it well deserved. Most of the morning I watched the "Dance Your Ass Off" marathon. I love weight loss shows and what a cool concept to incorporate doing something fun to help lose the weight. I'm glad they made a show that showcased an alternative to the same old gym routine everyday (granted they did still work out in the gym as well as dance). My gym was closed because of the holiday. I was very sad about this so I found my own alternative: cleaning the bathrooms. Wow did I forget the work that goes into this! I am actually feeling it in my legs this morning and was sweating my butt off yesterday! I didn't eat a whole lot yesterday because quite frankly I wasn't very hungry. Yesterday total I ate half of a turkey sandwich with lettuce, tomatoes, pickles and onions, a couple glasses of milk, a couple handful of grapes and a strawberry cottage doubles. Maybe that makes up for the day before!

Today food is back to normal. Chicken with cucumbers and grapes for lunch, V8 to drink. Snack is laughing cow cheese on 3 crackers and a peach cottage doubles. I have my 4 mile walk tonight with my step-mom and I plan on going to the gym as well. There's a live Big Brother on tonight that I'm very excited about! And Biggest Loser starts in exactly 1 week!!!

Hope you all had a great weekend!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Deep Breaths

Hey everyone! No post yesterday sorry! I wrote one up and was going to post it when I got home from work but by the time I ran errands, ate dinner and worked out it was 11 o'clock and I was toooo tired. I really didn't have much to say yesterday though so it wasn't too big of a deal.


Yesterday, I wrote about how last night was my weekly weigh in. Food and exercise have been pretty flawless but I just didn't think I lost any weight. I didn't feel it like I did the week before. Last week I could tell in my stomach the most. This week I felt exactly the same. I'm not sure if I was maybe losing weight in other places but this week just didn't feel the same. I think maybe that knowing I had chinese and culver's last weekend was haunting me and constantly in the back of my head. I thought I did pretty good keeping my unhealthy meals to a minimum. I portioned them out pretty good so I don't think I did that much damage but I still couldn't help but think that theres no way I could have lost anything eating like that. I think maybe it blinded me to what was really going on.

Well, I am very happy to report that I lost 3.4 pounds this week! Yippee! I think it was all in my head. I felt guilty and that made me see my body in a different way. Everytime I looked at myself I saw the salty chinese food and the chicken tenders. What I forgot to see was that my cashew chicken and a pint of steamed rice lasted me for 4 meals (it usually lasts for 1) and that I only ate half of my chicken tenders with no fries and water to drink.

I've learned a lot these past 3 weeks. I've learned that I need to calm down and take a deep breath. Whenever I used to start a "diet" I would plan out everything to the tee and keep my paper with me so I could see exactly what I was eating and when I was eating it. I would plan out exactly what I was going to do at the gym, what exercises in what order for how many reps and sets. I would plan out exactly what day I was going and what time I would go. I couldn't have anything outside of my "diet" and if I didn't make it to the gym I would beat myself up. Eventually, I would not make it to the gym and never go back. This wasn't how I wanted to live my life. I wanted to be free and have faith that as my decisions came about food and exercise I could make them wisely.

Now, things are different. I go grocery shopping at the beginning of the week and get my chicken, veggies, fruits, greek yogurt, laughing cow cheese, V8 and Fruit2Day. Having grilled chicken for lunch everyday is easy and I love it. I love my fruits and veggies. I love my greek yogurt, I love it all. I used to look up all these recipes and try to make them and when I didn’t have time I would just stop at McDonald's. I don't have to go all out and crazy to be healthy. I just need to eat less and eat foods that are good for me. I can have a cheat day here or there if I keep it reasonable. I had 3 chicken tenders and water. Nothing else. That was about 350 calories. I had chinese but instead of eating it in one meal, I spread it out to 4. Now I'm certainly not saying I can do this every weekend but once in a while if I am smart about my choices it's ok to have something out of the ordinary. I don't have soda anymore, I don't have fast food. I'll have a piece of chocolate maybe once a week at the most. I don't crave McDonald's, I don't crave M&M's. I want water and veggies, things that make me feel alive and energized.

My exercise routine has completely changed as well. I exercise on the nights that I don't have other things going. I don't exercise everynight but it comes out to about 4-5 nights a week. If I need a break one night, I take one. I rotate what I focus on everynight so I go to the gym knowing what area I'm working but I don't have a specific plan laid out. Like Rebecca (@FatFitnessFood) said this morning, it's easy. I feel like I'll jinx it by saying that but it really is. When you take the time to listen to yourself and your body, be organized in your life and thoughts and just take deep breaths things start to fall together. I'm having a lot of fun on this journey, why would I stop?

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Selfish? Comfortable? All of the Above...

Hello! Happy Tuesday! Every second we're closer to Friday! :-)


Food was good yesterday, same old stuff. I did snack a little after work because I was starving but I think I packed a good hearty afternoon snack today (3 Breton crackers, 1 wedge of laughing cow cheese, 1 oikos vanilla greek yogurt - about 150 to 200 calories for it all) so hopefully that hungryness will be cured. Went to the gym last night, focus was abs with light biceps/back and inner/outer thighs. Also did about 35 minutes on the bike. I HATE ab workout days. The reason is because I never feel like I'm working them out enough. I'm hoping that the pilates and bellydancing classes will help in the area more.

Lately I've had a lot on my mind. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before but my boyfriend is currently trying to get into the music business. He's very talented and it seems like every day he is getting closer and closer to actually achieving his dream. This absolutely scares the shit out of me. He is starting to record his first album today and part of me wants to jump for joy - for him and another part of me wants our lives to stay how they are - for me. It seems so selfish, no scratch that, it IS so selfish to even think that way. I know this, but I can't help it. Basically, I feel as though I am going to get left in the dust. I feel like I am going to be forgotten about and if he ever gets famous enough he'll be able to have whatever girl he wants so why would he stay with me? He's reassured me many times that he doesn't want anyone else and no one has been there for him like I have but I can't help feeling the same way. I've talked to a few people I know that have been somewhat in the spotlight and the "Fabulous Life" doesn't always turn out to be all that fabulous. I want him to be happy and this has been his dream is entire life so of course I want this for him but how we are now is comfortable and I like comfortable.

Maybe that's my problem. I don't take a lot of risks. I've had this blog about losing weight for 8 months now but only within the past 3 weeks have I actually made the effort and lost weight. Being fat is comfortable. Eating shit is comfortable. Not exercising is comfortable. These are things I've been doing my whole life. I've been used to these things for 20 years, it's not an easy thing to break. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 1/2 years. Our relationship is comfortable. Our life together is comfortable. Mabye that's not enough. Maybe this music thing is a blessing in disguise. Who knows what adventure it could take us on. Who knows?

But maybe after all this worrying nonsense, I'm ready to find out.