Hello! Nothing much new here since yesterday's post. Food has been good. Got 6 inches cut off my hair last night! It was scary but it was well needed and I love it! Today's post is mostly to get some emotions off my chest that are building up and what better place to do it but here?!
I'm scared. Yep, it's as simple as that. I'm scared. Myhas been a little rocky lately and it's starting to scare me. I weighed in last Tuesday at 258.8lbs. I did not work out on Wednesday. I did not work out on Thursday (besides my belly dancing class). I did not work out on Friday. Saturday I was unable to make it to the gym so I did the "Workout" DVD at home. I did work out Sunday. I did not work out last night. In the past week I have worked out TWICE and only one of those times was actually at the gym. My next scheduled weigh in is on Thursday and I'm scared that I will not have lost any weight. I'm scared that I will actually gain weight. The scariest part is that if I do not lose any weight this week it will be MY FAULT, no one else's. I have 3 days to make up for the past week before my weigh in but at this point it may not be enough. I know that this is not my final weigh in or anything and that I have a LONG road ahead of me but I've had so much success thus far. I'm scared to think of what it would feel like standing on the scale only 5 weeks into my journey and seeing that I gained weight. I don't feel like I've lost enough to be "okay" with a gain, there's not enough "cushion" there. Missy (The Ups and Downs of ) mentioned in her post today about how exercise is now one of the things that is non-negotiable in her life. It's something she needs to do and it's no longer an option. That's how it has been for me the past 5 weeks but for some reason it's starting to slowly worm it's way back into my "optional" category. I know there will be many more bumps in my journey and if anything this is just a reminder that I need to work hard to achieve the results I want. My success will only be a reflection of my work. Whether or not I have a gain on the scale on Thursday I need to keep on trucking and not let this slow me down.